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March 20, 2011

Second Crusader Challenge post

I'm fulfilling a challenge in this post - to write a piece of flash fiction, 100 words or less, beginning with "The goldfish bowl teetered..."

Okay, this was much harder than I thought it would be and I'm very impressed by anyone who can encapsulate a complete idea with such a limited amount of words...because I really can't! Still, here is my short, short story - exactly one hundred words.

Ruin and Restoration

The goldfish bowl teetered on the edge of the mahogany table and fell.

Aurelie watched wide-eyed as it smashed on the parquetry floor.

Lord Black released her arm, and took a step backwards. His mouth crooked up in an unpleasant smile as he looked down at the mess of glass shards and squashed fish and lace doily.  "I will enjoy hearing you explain that to the Dowager Countess."

"Easily done," came a light voice from the doorway. "She was protecting her virtue from the unwanted advances of an unprincipled, lecherous toad."

Aurelie shuddered. The Viscount. Why him, of all people?


34 comments:

Carol Riggs said...

Very nice! And good for you for smashing that bowl--most people so far have saved it. :) Not only that, the smashing fits in with the story well; nice conflict here. LOL--love the toad bit too.

thingy said...

That was fun. "...lecherous toad." I like that. : )

Liz Fichera said...

Oh, fun! I love lecherous lords!

Callie Leuck said...

Ooh nice. I want to read this story!

jenniferelliott14 said...

Nice job. Now, I want to read the entire story. :)

Rachael Harrie said...

Ooh, love it :) Am curious to find out why she feels that way about the Viscount! And well done with the description of the lecherous toad!

Hugs,

Rach

Charity Bradford said...

LOL, I love reading these. There are several that I really wish you would continue with the story and this is one of them. I feel a delicious romance in the brewing.

Kari Marie said...

These are so fun! The more I read the more I get intimidated about writing my own. Gulp.

Tony Benson said...

Well written - I was there, sympathising with her plight, and wanting to step in and help.

Cherie Reich said...

I love this! It has a great ending, and it sucks you into the story. I want to know more.

raisingmarshmallows said...

Nice teaser, give me more.

Nikki

Ben Langhinrchs said...

Great ending. Here it sounds as if she is to be saved, and then her reaction indicates that it may be out of the frying pan and into the fire.

Margo Benson said...

A fabulous tale and take on the challenge. There aren't many smashed bowls out there, including mine!

Sierra Gardner said...

Great story. I'm curious to know the source of the tension between her and the Viscount.

Mary Mary said...

I like this! It takes it that "romance" level. Good entry and I hope you do well. Too bad I wasn't able to get in on this one, but hopefully the next.

Summer Ross said...

Nice hook in this- very curious where it will lead to next. I think you did pretty good.

Trisha said...

Holy crap! I love this, and I SO want to read on. :)

Cally J said...

Rescued... by a lecherous toad. Love it!

Madeleine said...

Very dramatic. Saved by the bowl! :O)

alberta ross said...

obviously will end up with viscount - how mortifying to caught with the toad by someone you have the hots for - I did like this

L'Aussie said...

Hey Adina, long time no see. I loved your story. You got a lot of story into 100 words. And some interesting characters.

Denise<3

Amanda Milner said...

Already you have strong characters! Now I want more. ☺

~Nicole Ducleroir~ said...

Intriguing scene! Loved the descriptive voice you used in this piece. Great entry!

I realized I wasn't following you yet. So sorry, fellow Crusader! Happy to have rectified my error. Looking forward to reading more from you!

Happily Cheesy said...

Lots of drama here. Great.

Holly Vance said...

Protagonist seems fiesty. I like it.

Witless Exposition said...

You have me hooked! I'm such a sucker for these types of stories :)

Alison Stevens said...

I'm curious to know more. Great intrigue!

Sarah Ketley (constance) said...

Love the "lecherous toad"

great piece!!

Sarah

catherinemjohnson said...

You really got into character, this is great. I want to read more too.

Jeanne said...

Gee. THat was great. Full of tension and great word choice. I too love the "lecherous" toad.

Alison Miller said...

I LOVE your descriptions! Nice job!

J.L. Campbell said...

Talk about out of the frying pan and into the fire. Nicely done and in genre too.

Bess Weatherby said...

Whoa! Very interesting little turn. I want to read more :)(

Adina West said...

Thanks all for your comments - and I promise I'm coming around to check out all of your entries now! Just running a little late...

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